Hard to believe the last time I wrote was almost a year ago. I think a part of me just wanted to be done. Done hurting and aching, done opening up every time I pressed publish. But this past year is nothing to sweep under the rug. Last January I cried as the year turned. In relief as that awful year was over and in grief for the year that brought my babies and kept them... and hope in a "new year" fell short on me. If 2015 had taught me anything it was that my hope is not found in a new year in this world, that nothing 2016 brought was going to satisfy me. I can assure you now, this is true. The answer to our prayers, the solution to our aching, the deeper meaning and reason for our sorrow was not found in our circumstances in 2016... but is only found in Christ. Last January we prepared a room for a child we didn't know. In February we mourned and celebrated the due date of our first baby. On the drive to Colorado I couldn't stop thinking about where we shoul...