Why we haven't found a church.

It's not like we are looking for a church that is " just right for us". I'm not even sure we really had criteria when we started our search. Maybe initially we were looking for somewhere like our church in Columbia, The Crossing.

As our search has grown longer, every Sunday we learn a little bit more about the church God has called us to, and possibly why we moved.

On Sunday mornings we are searching for a message, for a church, of grace.

A while back I posted a post entitled "Unashamed"following a sermon at a church we had a attended for awhile. (I quickly unpublished it and re-titled it "Ashamed" ha! You can read it here.) It reflected on a sermon about how the gospel demands a response. It was a moving, convicting sermon.

While I didn't state this, probably because of pride, I sat there that day and I doubted my salvation.

I thought about all the ways I fail God everyday. How I do not constantly seek repentance or surrender to God. I thought about how controlling I am. How selfish I am. How utterly sinful I am...And I doubted my salvation.

I lost sight of one of the most important characteristics of God. His grace.

"God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can't take credit for this; it is a gift from God." Ephesians 2:8

God showed me His truth. Given the choice, we would never have chosen Him. I would not have chosen Him because I am sinful. I can take no credit for even believing in Him.

I am not saved by a prayer I pray. I am not saved by a believer's baptism. I am not saved by my actions. I am saved by grace. Grace alone.

For a second, I lost sight of that very important truth.

Repentance and obedience to God is a response to salvation, not the cause of it.

We have been given a conviction to serve a church that is overflowing with the message of grace.
Over the past 7 months we have learned that finding a church, for us, is not about finding a church for us at all. It is about finding a church that exalts the name of the Lord above all. A church that is not confined to four walls but that goes with you into the work place and into the city to spread the message of grace to all those you come in contact with.

A couple months ago, probably at a time when we were still looking for a church "for us", we  visited a church where a guest preacher talked about a church plant.  Today we visited another church for the first time, and that same preacher was there sharing the message of this new church and our mission as believers:

18 And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” Matthew 28: 18-20

I can't help but think that the Lord is not a God of coincidence. That He brought us to Springfield, out of a church that grew us and that we loved, into months of church going and seeking and challenging our understanding of His grace and His character to prepare us for something. Maybe it is to pray for this new church. Maybe it is to be a part of it.  I'm excited to find out what He has in mind.

Because above all, I know He is in control of all things, and He is with me always.  Til the end of the age.

Looking Back. And Forward.

I used to scoff at the constant barrage of reflection and resolutions with the beginning of a new year. How cliché.

I'm turning a new leaf. Pausing to appreciate where you have been and where you want to go is not a negative fad. It is encouraging.

2014 was a year of change.

Last New Year's Eve I sat on Grandma Ruby's hospital bed in the living room, practicing crocheting while listening to the hum of the oxygen concentrator. Grandma sat in her chair and we watched game shows. "Big money, big money, no whammies, no whammies!"

I wrote this blog post:  A very, very NEW year

A post filled with questions about 2014. Questions that have all been answered.

2014

In February I said good-bye to one of the most influential people in my life. An amazing woman of God and loving grandmother. Her life and her death taught me a lot about the character of God. 

Jesus conquered death by dying on the cross. 

Death is only known in this world that is separated from God.

And most importantly, this life is temporary. 

She is alive in Christ.

In March:

 I turned 25. I am officially closer to 30 than 20. :( 

I started my clinical at Mercy in Springfield. And left with a job. 

In May I graduated along side the best of friends and colleagues. 

We left Columbia and moved to Springfield. 

And lived in a tiny, smelly two bedroom apartment that Boone promptly destroyed.

In June we celebrated Michael's 25th birthday in style. 

I started my job as a pediatric therapist,

and have since fallen in love with a lot of amazing kiddos. 

In July we welcome my niece and namesake Zoe René.

I took the biggest and longest test of my life. 

And passed!

In August we celebrated four years of marriage and went under contract on our first home.

In September we got to met our niece Allyanna. 

In October we closed on our house! 

And moved in!

We celebrated Boone's 1st Birthday!

In the last few months of this year we have LOVED getting to spend time making our house a home and making Springfield our home. We have made new friends and enjoyed visits with old friends. We are still looking for a new church home and have learned a ton about God as we search.

A year ago, I posed the thought: What next New Years will look like is a complete and utter mystery.

On New Year's Eve we celebrated the life of my great grandma Garnet. While her death leaves us sad, her 98 years here glorified God and she knows a peace I can't imagine.

It truly brings to light the promise of the Lord. The truth about this next year is that it will still fall short of the eternity that awaits me. So while I look forward to whatever the Lord has in store, I refuse to place my hope in the promise a New Year brings.

Because at the end of every day, this world is not my home.

I thank God for every change small and large that filled 2014. Each one has brought me a little closer to Him.