This monotony is refreshing as I look forward to what is sure to be one exciting and life changing year, literally. It is overwhelming all the unknowns ahead of Michael and I. My plan ends May 17, 2014.
I know that I will enjoy my last winter break for the next three weeks. Then I will return to class for 8 weeks, then on to Springfield for my last clinical at Mercy outpatient pediatrics. I will return to Columbia for my graduation and then....
...
...
...
I don't know.
Those dots are incredibly scary to me...and exciting... but seriously daunting.
I have been a student for a super long time. I went to preschool; therefore, all but four years of my life have been spent in school. I know how to study for tests and write a killer paper. I really don't know how not to do homework in the evening. I love running in the middle of the day and napping between classes. And I seriously do not understand when people who work full time get hair cut or go the bank. Or how they get anything done in the evenings besides forming a beautiful butt imprint on the couch.
Also, this "job" I will hopefully have, where will it be? Michael and I have spent almost 7 years in Columbia. We have a church we love, a bible study that has helped us grow, and great friends. I love the trails and Michael loves his job. We love the atmosphere that comes with being a part of Mizzou. But ever since I left for college I have always looked forward to a time I could be closer to my family. To be able to have a weeknight dinner with my brothers, sisters in law, and Leah and Zach. For the most important people in my life to be in my every day life. And so this question plagues me; where in the world will we be in 5 short months?
There will be so many doors opened this year. The things I kept responding with "after school", "once I finish school", etc., are now actual possibilities and expectations.
For example... buying a house... having a baby.
I'm going to be honest, I cannot wait to be a mom and for Michael to be a dad, but it is scary!
I was talking to my brother awhile back about having a baby, it went like this:
Me: "I just love having this time with Michael. You know, being able to go get ice cream whenever we want. We're not going to be able to do things like that when we have children."
Brother: "You take your kid to get ice cream."
Me: "Huh. Yeah, see I'm not ready.."
I'm so selfish! If your priorities are 1. ice cream 2. children... surely you are not ready... HA!
On a serious note, I am so excited at the thought of starting our family. Just the fact that this is could actually happen in the next year seems so surreal.
What next New Years will look like is a complete and utter mystery.
Reflecting on this I am reminded that this is truly a season to discover God more, to rely on God more, to trust Him more.
In the midst of all the change and unknown Michael and I will encounter in the next year, God is unwavering.
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