Friday, December 18, 2015

5 Gift Ideas for Mommas of Angel Babies


I have loved the recognition of our babies' lives through gifts. 

Though they are material things, they have been beautiful symbols of the babies we have loved and lost. If this holiday season finds you loving someone struggling with the loss of the unborn, I hope these gift ideas help you love them better. 

My husband gave me a necklace with what would have been our first baby's birthstone. In those first few months I clung to it. It was something tangible, something I could see. Everything else I clung to besides Michael wasn't anything I could touch or see, it was all faith. I won't be able to take the necklace with me into the next life, but it brings me comfort in this one. 

I love catching Michael looking at it. 

Photo by Anna Merrell Photography and Design

My best friend, Leah, gave me a locket from Etsy after we lost our first baby. On the outside it reads, 
"I held you"

Photo by Anna Merrell Photography and Design

On the inside it reads "every second of your life". 
Those words, they take my breath away every time I read them. 
They never fail to bring tears to my eyes. What a beautiful picture of my babies' lives. 
She included 2 Cor. 4:16-18. The verses we read as I went in for my procedure. 
As well as a ruby, July's birthstone, for when our first baby was born into heaven. 
After losing our second baby, who was due to arrive the week we lost our first baby, it was hard for me to take this necklace off. The ruby meant so much, for both of our babies. 

Photo by Anna Merrell Photography and Design


My friend, Alyssa, shared her love with me from afar by sending me this keepsake from Willow Tree called "Remembrance". The placard reads, "Memories...hold each one safely in your heart." She shared with me that my little ones will never be forgotten. And that meant the world.



At different points after each of our babies left us I would feel like I wasn't handling it well. I would feel like I could cry forever, or maybe never again. I would feel alone. I would feel like no one understands me in this world. And God doesn't care. Sometimes, I still do. I am not whole, none of us are. My best friend, Dana, sent be this vintage bottle entitled "bottle of tears" with the pictured print. 

Especially in my anger after our first loss, I didn't want to hear about how God cared about me when I was filled with such pain. Pain He had the power to take away. This was a beautiful and gentle reminder that He sees and counts every.single.tear. 

The card describes how no two bottles are the same, as each person's grief is infinitely different from another's.

This gift was so unique and reassured me that there is no right way to grieve. Jesus counts my tears regardless. 


I was taken aback when one of my little kiddo's mom, Jill, took me aside one day and told me that I had been on her mind throughout the summer. She didn't know why, so she prayed for me. Especially over the 4th of July. After finding my blog, she realized why I had unknowingly been on her heart. It is amazing how someone can so quickly become a beloved friend and sister in Christ. 

A week after losing our second baby Jill gave me a box, the note inside said, 
"I have one of these for each of my children. I thought you might want one for each of your babies too."
I still cry reading it. 
We missed out on every experience of this life with our two little ones. These bibles were a way to have a tradition with them. It brings me overwhelming comfort to have their lives, and their presence in ours, considered so thoughtfully. I felt so loved, but it meant even more to know that my babies were loved and thought of.




I know that no two mother's journey down this terrible road is the same. My hope would be that you could take these gift ideas, or even the way they made me feel, and seek to love others this way. Seek to recognize and bring light to the lives they have loved and lost. The lives society tells us to hide away in a deep dark corner of ourselves and let go of. 

Our babies' lives were short, but we fell in the love with both of them. Head over heels. These gifts recognize that pain, love, and the beauty that follows in the wake of their death. The beauty Jesus brings to everything. 

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