Control & Cotton Candy

If you know me, you probably know that one way to describe me would be:

Controlling.

The other day Michael and I were walking through a store holding hands, out of nowhere Michael comments, “You innately refuse to be led.”  Without even realizing I had determined and enforced the path we would take through the store, steering us this way and that.

Part of me, the truly born leader who does not enjoy taking a back seat unless truly necessary, the twentieth century woman part of me, was proud.

But the larger part, the part of me that desires to be a biblical wife to my husband, was ashamed.

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Ephesians 22-24

Now, I do not believe that this statement means I must spend all day cleaning house with a feather duster in a poodle skirt and fetch him whatever he asks for.  I do believe that I can be an ambitious woman.  In order to be an ambitious, I have to walk a very thin line between achieving and squandering my husband’s spiritual authority.

I DO believe that God will lead our family through Michael.  In order for this to occur, I need to get my controlling butt out of the way.  To truly “submit”, I have to give up control and allow Michael to lead our relationship with God and each other.

This is a constant struggle in small things, such as which way we walk through a store, and big things, such as allowing Michael to control our finances (YIKES!).

My need to be in control is not only a difficulty in my marriage, but also in my relationship with God.  God established marriage to reflect the relationship between Him and the church.  My inability to surrender to husband’s authority is only a glimpse of my inability to submit to my heavenly Father.

The God who placed the stars in the sky and whose breath is life is in control of every aspect of my life.

When you say it like that, why in the world would I want control?

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On an unrelated, but entertaining note:

Cotton candy is apparently the secret to ending a quarrelsome evening in the Wilson household.