The curse of a planner.

If you know two things about me, it is probably that I’m:

1. Controlling 

and 

2. A planner.

There are few days that go by that I do not have a to do list.  And if I happen to complete a task that is not on that to do list, I write in on the to do list just to check it off. 

I have always had a vision of the way my life would go. Currently, I see my graduation next May, getting a job as a physical therapist closer to home, buying a house, and just maybe making a baby or 5. :) (but not a moment sooner!).

But do you know of the above what I have control of? NOTHING.

What if I don’t graduate?

What if I don’t pass my boards and don’t become a physical therapist?

What if I do and can’t find a job?

What if the best place for us is not closer to my family?

What if we can’t afford a house?

(And the scariest)

What if we can’t have a baby?

(That is even scarier than if I were to waddle across the stage at graduation.)

The point is regardless of whether or not I relinquish control to God, He is in control not me. 

The plans I make are only an evil arrogance.

13 Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— 14 yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. 15 Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” 16 As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. 17 So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.

James 4:13-17

Dave Cover preached this sermon at our church, The Crossing. 

I couldn’t help but think of how much I plan on a daily basis.  And how little I take into consideration just how arrogant I am being. 

There is a comfort in knowing that regardless of the arrogant plans I make, God's plan will prevail.  Wherever we live, 

wherever I work, 

whether we adopt or have six babies, 

Michael and I will be there according to God's plan. 

Not our own. 

And we can seek Him and His will wherever we are.