Last Saturday, as the final graduation festivity ended and family returned home, friends dispersed, and I took off my cap and gown reality began to sink in. It was all over. Anxiety began to fill where excitement had been.
For the first time in days the house was quiet. We were alone. There was no celebration to go to, no pending plans to be carried out.
And it was overwhelming.
I have never not been a student. I'm not ready to leave these people. I'm not ready to leave this place.
What if we hate it?
...I'm not sure if I have mentioned this...
I hate change.
And I was staring a lot of change right in the eye.
At the beginning of last week we lived in Columbia, by the end of the week we lived in Republic.
Michael and I began our last Sunday in Columbia at The Crossing.
... ok, we began it with donuts... then The Crossing...
The sermon was over Exodus 21:1-11 regarding laws for slaves. What really hit me was the way these verses reflected God's love for us.
5 But if the slave plainly says, ‘I love my master, my wife, and my children; I will not go out free,’ 6 then his master shall bring him to God, and he shall bring him to the door or the doorpost. And his master shall bore his ear through with an awl, and he shall be his slave forever.
God became man as Jesus. Jesus lived as a servant to God and people while on earth and became the ultimate servant to us when he gave His life to buy us out of slavery. He bought us out of our slavery to sin. He set us free. What we do with that freedom is now completely of our free will.
I want this verse to be my story.
I love my master so much, that although I can be free, I will not go out free.
Nail my ear to the Lord's doorpost. I will be His slave forever.
This seems most liberating of all.
As sadness and anxiety about all the change in my life filled my heart I reflected on these facts:
God is finished with us here.
We made the decision to go to Springfield in prayer and in order to serve God.
He will go with us and use us where we are going.
Above all, we can serve Him regardless of the place we are in and the people that surround us.
As we left church, I felt peace.
That afternoon Boone enjoyed one last trip to his favorite dog park.
We went to our favorite restaurant in Columbia, Flat Branch.
Then Michael returned to Springfield for work, while I remained behind to pack, clean, and direct the movers.
I found this in the bible I used last summer while I was packing. It is from my grandma when she gave me two hundred dollars to go to Guatemala. It gave me such reassurance.
And tears. Assurance and tears.
Thank God for friends that don't allow me to be stuck in the house all day while two stranger men pack up my first home.
Especially when our first interaction goes like this:
Mover 1: "Ma'am, can I use your restroom?"
Me: "Of course! There is only toilet paper in the upstairs bathroom."
Mover 1: "Oh.. I.. don't.. umm.. need toilet paper."
Me: "Oh, umm, ok."
... boys don't use toilet paper?
What an awful, awkward way to find out.
Rachel spent the day helping organize my car and run errands... but mainly laying on the floor in my furniture less living room giggling.
Michael and I had joked about what to do with our night stand drawer.
You know what I'm talking about.
Michael suggested putting really weird things in there to make the movers uneasy.
He suggested a spatula. I suggested a knife.
He got worried.
Sure enough:
Mover 2: "Katen, I have a question."
(Yes, he called me Katen.)
I go upstairs, the bottom night stand drawer is open. I feel the heat rise to my face.
Mover 2: "You have a bunch of things that will move around in here."
Me: "Oh, uhhhhhhh.. that's ok, just put some paper in there."
Not making eye contact, trying to walk out of the room.
Mover 2: (Looking through the drawer) "Like, uhh, this play dough."
I slapped my forehead in my mind... why, oh why was there play dough in there?!
Then I see him pick up a game we won at our bible study white elephant Christmas exchange labelled "Playful Sex."
I beat my head against the wall in mind.
Mover 2: "There is a candle in here and we can't transport candles."
As he opens the box to reveal an inch tall red votive candle on top of a blind fold.
Me: "Uh-huh, yep, I'll take that."
And run away, forever, into a hole, far far away from here.
Again, thank God, and Rachel, I was not there alone.
Boone and I dropped the keys off to our first home and hit the road to Springfield.
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| Dad Disclaimer: I was at a stop light and he didn't do this the whole way! |
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| Boone quickly made himself at home. |
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| "The one without a husband" |
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| "Baby Makin' Wife" |
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| Michael's read: "The husband of many..." |
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| "Takes em in off the street and lets them sleep in his bed" |
was able to see my mom one week day afternoon, spent a day by the pool with my nephews and Amanda,
had and lost our first co-ed softball game with my new co-workers, celebrated my niece's 5th birthday,
and got go to my nephew's baseball game.
I have loved every minute.
...Except unpacking... and the realization that when I told Mover 2 to throw away Rubbermaid drawers instead of throwing away the empty ones he threw away the ones with our marriage license and my birth certificate in it. NBD.
Now on to studying 2 hours a day for boards, starting my first real job, sharing some exciting news, and, above all, serving God.
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