This is home.

I have really been struggling the past couple of weeks.

I hate admitting it.

I miss Columbia. I miss my support system. I miss my trails. I miss the atmosphere of the city.

I miss being surrounded by friends who constantly provided a source of God's love and encouragement, who held me accountable and made me better.

Most of all, I miss our church.

I didn't realize the million of ways The Crossing fostered growth, love, and learning in every detail of each service and activity.


There is a loneliness that comes with change and the unfamiliar.

Especially when the place I love hasn't changed and I am just missing out.

I did a devotional during lunch the other day at work. I forwarded the ending on to Michael with a renewed drive and thankful spirit:

Between loneliness and bad experiences at work, let us not forget this:

Lord, help us put our doubt aside, to answer your call no matter the questions we may have. May we make obedience our first priority and submit to Your plan and rest in Your faithfulness. Out of the greatest and deepest of loves, let us say "yes" today. 

How quickly that peace and resolve left me.

Just a few hours later I was crying on Michael's shoulder saying "I want to go home".

No sooner did the words leave my mouth than Switchfoot came on the television and sang the words, 

"This is home."

We both laughed.

Later I listened to the song a little closer.  

I've got my memories
Always inside of me
But I can't go back
Back to how it was
I believe you now
I've come too far
No I can't go back
Back to how it was

Created for a place I've never known

This is home
Now I'm finally where I belong
Where I Belong
Yeah, this is home
I've been searching for a place of my own
Now I've found it
Maybe this is home
This is home

Belief over misery
I've seen the enemy
And I won't go back
Back to how it was
And I got my heart set on what happens next
I got my eyes wide it's not over yet
We are miracles and we're not alone

And now after all my searching
After all my questions
I'm gonna call it home
I've got a brand new mindset
I can finally see the sunset
I'm gonna call it home

Now I know
Yeah, this is home
I've come too far
And I won't go back

I'm working on saying "yes" to where I know He has called.

This is home.