We celebrated by speaking to a few hundred middle and high school students about our stories. How cool is that??
Looking back to that time in our lives renews my gratefulness time and time again. (Read their stories of addiction here.)
I speak of the men that broke our hearts and filled our prayers for so many years and I cannot believe that they are the same men I stood by today in that gymnasium. They were eloquent and well spoken. They were honest and transparent. They were admirable.
... Like I ever stopped admiring them anyways. :)
Before we left nerves were making me act like a loon and Keith reached out his hands and said, "I know what we need to do" and I held hands with my two big brothers as Keith said the most beautiful prayer my ears have ever heard. Words flowed from his mouth to The Lord so true and loving. And then I knew that it didn't matter what I said today, whether I forgot things or left them out... God was going with us and it would be according to His plan, not ours.
God sent us. He went with us.
I led with this imagery of my experiences with my brothers' addiction.
I want you to think of the person you love and look up to most in the world. Think of all the reasons you love them. Now imagine that you are standing alone with them in this gym and they are at the other end. You see them and wave hello to them. They wave a warm welcome and motion for you to come closer. As you start to walk over to them you see them pouring something over their body... You smell gas.. You call out to them, "what are you doing?". They look to you but turn away. As you get closer you see there is something in their hand, you realize it's a match. You try to run to them, but it's like you're in a dream and although you are running you never go anywhere. You are watching them light the match and as the flames burst forth you yell and scream and run trying to tell them what to do but...they can't hear you...you can't reach them. They struggle. They fall beneath the flames. You look around searching for help and all of a sudden you are not alone. You are surrounded by groups of people.. As you go to them you hear them whisper judgmental words, " they did this to themself" as they shake their heads and one by one turn their backs to the flames. And maybe you do too. Or maybe you remember all the reasons you looked up to them..and you have no choice but to sit defeated and watch them burn.
That is what it is like to love someone with an addiction.
If the destruction addiction brings had never spread through our family... Maybe birthdays and holidays wouldn't be so special... And we wouldn't celebrate days like today and all that God has done.
And He brought us out from there, that He might bring us in
and give us the land that He swore to give to our fathers.
Deuteronomy 6:23
My daughter was in the group that you spoke to yesterday. She came home touched by the words. You gave her a lot to think about. Thank-you for having the selflessness to share the private, painful stories of your family's past.
ReplyDeleteJoyce, I cannot thank you enough for sharing that with me. My brothers and I were so happy to read your comment and know that God is using us.
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