07/23/2015
For the first time I can say that I
am excited for this weekend. I know it will be uncomfortable at times, but what
isn’t these days?
Our best friends will be hosting,
cause Lord knows I do not need all eyes on me trying to hold it together.
Today, I am thankful that I don’t
have to try to be excited for my best friend. I actually feel happy to be able to
be there and celebrate her baby and how precious
that life truly is.
___________________
My follow up appointment was this morning.
They had me take a pregnancy test, it was negative. My uterus is normal.
Everything looks good. We don’t need to wait to try again, we can begin trying
any time. I don’t know how I feel about that. On the one hand it makes me feel like my body
isn’t broken and damaged. I feel like I would still have to be labeled as
refurbished, like I have a salvage title. I guess that is true of us all.
It is much more terrifying than
exciting, at least right now. I suppose that isn’t true, because there is no
doubt in my mind that knowing what I know now… I would go through it all again;
without hesitation, without reservation. I would carry our baby again.
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