THAT'D BE ME!
Since we haven't talked in a month, let me get you up to date.
We started building a house in Republic.
We realized we didn't want to live in Republic and stopped building the house.
Now I just have a lot of pictures of someone else's future house...
We found an awesome burger place in Springfield.
I know what you are thinking, is that fried cheese on a burger? Why yes, yes it is.
And I ate the whole thing.
We welcomed my neice Zoe René to the world.
A friend shared this quote by C.S. Lewis:
In friendship...we think we have chosen our peers. In reality a few years' difference in the dates of our births, a few more miles between certain houses, the choice of one university instead of another...the accident of a topic being raised or not raised at a first meeting--any of these chances might have kept us apart. But, for a Christian, there are, strictly speaking no chances. A secret master of ceremonies has been at work. Christ, who said to the disciples, "Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you," can truly say to every group of Christian friends, "Ye have not chosen one another but I have chosen you for one another." The friendship is not a reward for our discriminating and good taste in finding one another out. It is the instrument by which God reveals to each of us the beauties of others.
Because God chose Leah and I to be intricate tools in each others' lives...
I get to be this precious girl's aunt.
How cool is that??
Boone is still a doofus.
I solved an impossible puzzle.
Oh, and I PASSED MY BOARDS!!!!!
What an emotional, faith finding journey waiting for those results was!
When I finished my test I was filled with anxiety. I expected there to be relief, there was none. I had taken the entire five hours. I had second guessed myself on numerous questions. I described it as feeling like I had been mugged and had nothing to give them.
I called my dad and he asked how it went. I asked him if he remembered the time after my physics test when I called him bawling and that it was way worse than that. I got 45% on that test...
That first day all I could think about was the many people expecting me to pass, and how I could have possibly let everyone down. I understood that being anxious did no good. I understood that I needed to trust God. And I understood that I was openly choosing not to.
On my way to work the next morning I heard the song "While I Wait". The chorus goes like this:
And I will move ahead bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting I will serve You
While I'm waiting I will worship
While I'm waiting I will not faint
I'll be running the race even while I wait
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting I will serve You
While I'm waiting I will worship
While I'm waiting I will not faint
I'll be running the race even while I wait
Conviction overwhelmed me. My anxiety, my fear of failure, my blantant disregard for God's plan was not serving Him. God had given me an opportunity to trust Him and His plan, an opportunity to relinquish control. I actively chose not to. I had truly failed.
I had known that regardless of whether I failed or passed, God had planned it. I had struggled and struggled, refusing to be okay if the plan was for me to fail. I was wrestling with God, just like Jacob. I had to learn to fear God more than I feared failure.
I prayed for each of my little patients. I witnessed the first time a baby crawled and mother's joyful tears. And I couldn't imagine not being able to do my job.
It was while I was getting ready for work the next morning that I was again convicted by what little confidence I had in God. I failed to recognize the path He had forged, the many opportunities He had granted me to be a physical therapist. I may be able to doubt my own abilities, but what the Lord had done was unquestionable. He is faithful.
He is worthy of praise. Pass or fail, He is good.
I had known that regardless of whether I failed or passed, God had planned it. I had struggled and struggled, refusing to be okay if the plan was for me to fail. I was wrestling with God, just like Jacob. I had to learn to fear God more than I feared failure.
I prayed for each of my little patients. I witnessed the first time a baby crawled and mother's joyful tears. And I couldn't imagine not being able to do my job.
It was while I was getting ready for work the next morning that I was again convicted by what little confidence I had in God. I failed to recognize the path He had forged, the many opportunities He had granted me to be a physical therapist. I may be able to doubt my own abilities, but what the Lord had done was unquestionable. He is faithful.
He is worthy of praise. Pass or fail, He is good.
Now that I am truly no longer a student... I'm going to become an extreme couponer.
My sister is showing me the ropes. I got all this for $13! (Sorry about displaying the lady gear.)
So, now I'm going to read books and cut coupons and paint my nails and not study and bake cookies and maybe, buy a house. Or build one. Maybe, have some babies. Who knows? Only God knows.
And that's just fine with me. :)
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