Urgency

08/30/2015

I woke up this morning with an overwhelming sense of urgency.

I had this moment where I imagined the day I go to heaven. I imagined being wrapped in Jesus’ arms. I imagined it feeling familiar and safe and secure, similar to when I am wrapped in Michael’s arms and I lay my head upon his chest, except there is this absolute peace that I have never known. In that moment, I am completely satisfied.

Then, only because He loves me so immensely; Jesus carries my baby, and places her in my arms.

I look around and see my loved ones.

Some faces are blurry.

In this world, anxiety fills me. Who will not be there?

But in heaven, we will not hunger or thirst. He will be our light and our portion forever.

I do not think that I will get to heaven and be disappointed by who is and who is not in His courts. He will be enough.

Therefore, I feel a sense of urgency.

Right now, it absolutely breaks my heart to think that I may not spend eternity with people I love. Maybe that seems offensive, my questioning of other people’s souls. I do not find myself more holy or faithful. I am utterly unworthy, and I see that in myself everyday. I have only believed what God has shown me. I do not even think that my believing is of my own accord. The gospel says, “Hey you, you are full sin. You need saving.” That is offensive. Me saying that is even more offensive, because I am full of sin myself.

I get caught up in respecting people’s privacy and opinions and feelings. If I truly respected and loved their souls, I would not waste one second of the time afforded me on this earth. I would speak life with every breath and pray fervently that God would reveal His truth to their hearts.

If we truly sought to love others, we would seek for them to experience God; to not settle for hoping that what they did and believed on this earth would be enough. When you grasp the gospel and begin to glimpse the character of God, there should be no doubt that the saving grace of God will lead you to Him when you die.

I feel that this life is a game of hide and seek with God. Except that He is everywhere and we are blindfolded. You can believe He is there and yet not find Him, because you are still blindfolded. It isn’t until He removes your blindfold that you truly see Him.