08/28/2015
As we waited in the waiting room for our first doctor’s appointment to have blood work done I saw one of my favorite little patients with her mom.
This is girl is spunky and sassy and I love her.
I saw her for the first time since then today. We barely made it into the gym before she said,
“My mom said you weren’t going to have your baby.”
My insides wrenched, the air went from lungs like when the cold takes you by surprise.
“Where did your baby go?”
My eyes welled. I was barely able to speak the word “heaven”.
Confused by my tears she moved on. But once I had recovered, she began again with renewed curiosity.
“Did your baby die?”
(I winced.) Yes.
“How did it die?”
Baby stopped growing, baby’s heart stopped beating.
“Why?”
Jesus wanted baby in heaven.
“Do you have another baby in your belly?
Not right now.
“How did your baby get in your belly?”
UM. Jesus put baby there.
“Did it tickle?”
…Something like that. (HA)
“Why did Jesus take your baby to heaven?”
I have absolutely no clue.
“Will you see baby in heaven?”
Yes, of that I am sure.
As brutal as it was, her honesty was so refreshing. I know why God has such a heart for children.
I showed up to dinner at my best friend’s house emotionally exhausted. As soon as my nephew, Quade, saw me he jumped up and said, “Aunt Katelyn! I have been wanting to see you!”
I lay down with my nephew, Cooper, for bedtime. He brought me a book to read called, “What is God like?” Some words barely escaped my mouth as God spoke through this children's book. The last page read, “I’ve loved everything that I made from the start. My world and my people I hold in my heart. “
I look back at today and His sovereignty takes my breath away. My little girl’s tough questions tore down my walls, my strength. I don’t believe in signs. I don’t believe in coincidences. I believe in a powerful, wrathful, loving God that is intricately invested in my life and eternity. While the questions were spoken from a child, they came from God. Though they filled me with sadness, I do not ask Him to take it away.
Yet, He does. He loves on me through those little boys.
He is doing something through my child.
God is not standing idly by, but building an eternal glory that far exceeds these troubles.
As He promised.
No comments:
Post a Comment